You blink and you're 90...

Been awhile since my last post - mostly due to trying to keep this juggling act I know as my life in the air.

Our baby turned 6 which resulted in about a week long celebration - hey, why not?  We had an art party at the house the weekend before his birthday, then spent the following weekend in Florida. Between painting, coloring, plenty of sweets, swimming and fun in the sun I think he enjoyed himself and is off to a great start into his next year.  I try to make a birthday video for each of the boys to commemorate their last year and to keep a record of their major milestones.  Attached is Brandon's - I cry happy tears each time I watch - and love to look back at the old ones.  For me it's always so hard to picture my boys at any other age than where they are right now.  One of the reasons I think I take so many pictures...it will help me as I continue to lose brain cells.  

The title of my post comes from one of the movies I watched on my 9 hour flight back from London yesterday.  I'm sure some of my fellow passengers were a tad annoyed at my outbursts of laughter as I watched This is 40.  This movie was just what I needed yesterday and likely not one I would have watched had I not been looking for a way to pass several hours.  One of the lines, not even the best one, but an older lady said, "Oh, you're 40.  I remember 40 but then I blinked and I was 90."  It made me think of my grandma who will turn 93 later this month.  Such true words as I think about how quickly things move and how I try every day to make a difference.  Some better than others.  So thanks to that movie for giving me some timely perspective and a stomach ache from laughing.  I may need to own this one.  

So in other news Jim and I just got back from a quick trip to London to celebrate his 45th birthday.  Jim loves London - I do as well.  We are good at London.  This trip included a few bumps but nothing we couldn't take in stride - Saturday morning it was a very slow stride, but a stride nonetheless.  To some, what we did sounds crazy.  And it probably is crazy.  But I have accepted that we are crazy so there you go.  

We spent Friday night with our friends Rich and Amelia, a low key Saturday, then went to the burbs to visit the Tinkers on Sunday.  We enjoy navigating our way around the city, figuring out the train and tube schedules and routes, finding recommended restaurants, etc.  Our friend Rich owns a production company.  We decided if Cameron is ever going to make it with his film career, it will start with Rich.  You just never know where a friendship that started on a rooftop bar in London will take you...perhaps more to come one day.  

I said to myself a few weeks ago, if i can make it to the 23rd I can get a bit of a breather.  Here I am, breathing....turning my attention back to work and starting the wheels turning for Brandon's solar system project made out of recycled materials we'll be working on this weekend.  Life is good.  

Blessings

I have many.  Inspired by Easter Sunday and the thought of starting with a fresh view.  Shedding the thoughts and things that bring me down and focusing on a fresh new season.  Giving thanks for everyone in my life and the life I've been given.

I had a very sweet surprise on Easter morning, serving as a great example of the good in my life. Saturday we were out and about as a family and we had to stop at the store before returning home.  Cameron asked me if he could look at the Easter cards.  He said he wanted to get a card for his friend.  Sure.  Clearly someone was feeling the Easter spirit - who can argue with that?  So we started to look over the cards and he picked a beautiful card but I wasn't quite sure it was the best fit for his buddy given the heavy floral content and long message.  I said, maybe we keep looking.  His was noticeably fidgety which isn't totally rare for Cameron and he said, well maybe I will get one for Rette.  I said, sure that's fine too.  Then he asked me if he could just look and dismissed me to the end of the aisle.  Watching him look and read the cards was very sweet. One he picked up and immediately put back because the inside greeting was so long.  He comes by that naturally.  

He emerged with a card and a corresponding yellow envelope and asked if I thought Dad would buy the card for him along with the other things he was buying.  I said, I'm sure he will.  

Early Easter morning I heard Cameron downstairs in the kitchen.  Jim went out for a jog and I was comfortably laying in bed for a few quiet moments before starting the day.  I heard footsteps come upstairs, go into the bathroom and started to hear the sounds of a 9 year old grooming.  He got dressed for church and went back downstairs.  When he heard me get up he came upstairs with a huge grin and told me when I was ready he had something for me downstairs.  He also said, go ahead and take your shower, no rush.  

In the meantime Jim came home and asked if I had been downstairs.  He asked if he could tell me and I agreed.  He whispered that Cameron had made breakfast for me and the card he'd picked out was for me.  It warmed my heart so much that I could have ended the day right then feeling nothing but blessed.  

I went downstairs to see my surprise and, again, the smile on Cameron's face truly lit up the room. I sat down and enjoyed my, by that time, cold toast with butter and glass of juice.  I read my beautiful card and stopped to take inventory of all that is good in my life.  Cold toast never tasted so delicious.  And I plan to keep the card forever and make a point to read it as a reminder of the beauty of childhood innocence and how we can all learn from simple acts of kindness.  I'm not sure what inspired Cameron to do this, but I am very proud of his kind gesture and hope that stays alive in him throughout his life.  

The rest of our day included going to mass - I might note I won the contest for closest guess to how long the service would last.  We went to breakfast then spent the day at home.  The boys played outside, we took our first bike ride of the season (although the cold, biting wind felt nothing like spring), we had an Easter egg hunt and ended with dinner.  

Sometimes it's easy to focus on what we wish we had or wishing things were different.  I am reminded once again there are many good things and people around me that make me happy.   

Happy spring - embrace the newness of the season!

What a week...

Not done yet, bunny...get moving.  

Which story do you prefer?

We are just back from a quick spring break trip to Phoenix.  We left Friday night and returned last night.  Kind of a whirlwind trip full of a bit of travel adventure (delayed flight, long security line, delayed bag, etc.)  Even with that we managed to escape our standard routine and were reminded how warm weather and sun feels.  We swam, floated on the lazy river, hiked up Squaw Peak and sat outside for as many hours as possible.

While we were there we also got to experience young Brandon losing his first tooth.  This thing had been nagging him for awhile and he became a bit obsessed with it.  Bottom front so it hurt to eat his bagel, pizza, any regular food - except ice cream - ice cream slid right down.  Outside of embracing a full on liquid diet I watched him become determined to get that thing out.  He wiggled it with his tongue, finger, napkin, anything that would move that little bugger.  We joked about "in the old days we tied a string to the tooth and a door knob" legends and all had a good laugh.  We reminisced about the tooth that seemed to hang by a thread in Cameron's mouth for what seemed like a good six months. Then, while sitting at dinner, Brandon just started yanking on it and didn't stop until it came out.  We celebrated, he swished with some water and we secured the tiny little tooth in my sunglass case for safe keeping.  

Discussions quickly turned to the tooth fairy - is it a he or a she?  How big is he/she?  Would the fairy find us in Phoenix?  Get the right hotel and room?  Much debate and the final decision was that the tooth would travel back to Chicago and be placed under Brandon's pillow where the fairy would know exactly where to find him for future tooth collecting.  He asked to see his tooth almost hourly and I knew that I could lose my entire purse, luggage, all electronics on our trip home but I COULD NOT LOSE THAT TOOTH!  

We arrived safely at home and soon after I heard, "Mom, I have my tooth - I'll be upstairs" at bedtime.  His grin was ear to ear as he placed the tooth under his pillow and couldn't get me out of the room quickly enough so he could fall fast asleep.  He awoke this morning to a crisp one dollar bill and was thrilled that the fairy really came like he hoped he/she would.  He believed and it worked, just as he believed.  

The subject of this post is tied to Cameron and I watching Life of Pi on our return flight yesterday. I am a bit embarrassed to say that I have never read the book so I only have the movie to reference.  A pretty amazing story which has kept me thinking.  The question, which story to you prefer? can be applied to so many circumstances.  I, personally, want to believe the animal version but critical thinking tells me that isn't possible.  Still, that's the one I want to believe.  

Then I find myself applying that question back to the tooth fairy with my kids - which do you prefer?  I even find myself applying it to my personal relationships and things that may or may not be true.  Is it ok to believe the version you want to believe is true or does critical thinking prove that isn't possible?  I could go on - we have Easter coming up, again, what's true and what's possible?  

I do know that life and perspectives change every day and how we see things can vary a great deal based on what we believe is true.  So my little boy's mouth landscape is forever changing which means he's growing up.  Just like each day, what we learn and how we change prepares us for the next day.  

Thanks to Pi and the tooth fairy for prompting this reflection.  

Patience - a lost art?

We are a few months into our bathroom/closet remodel project and the timeline seems to be draaaagggggiiiiinnnnnggg.  John, our contractor, is making progress, albeit very slow progress. We hire him for these jobs because he does fabulous work.  However fabulous work comes at a cost beyond the monetary investment.  Sometimes I think he might work in reverse.  Almost a Benjamin Button type scenario.

Each night we peek our heads into the room to see if we can notice any progress.  This week we started to see some walls come together and dry wall being installed in the new ceiling.  Both Jim and I are overly anxious to get this done and have to work very hard to remain patient.

So that got me thinking about patience in general.  Basically I think we live in a time where people don't have to be patient anymore.  As much as I embrace technology, and trust me I love it, I know it has changed my expectations and perspective.  Instant message, Facebook, Twitter, On Demand TV, texting, on line shopping (specifically sites like Open Table, StubHub, Orbitz) etc allow us to essentially get anything we need with a few clicks.  I can check my son's grades on a day by day basis instead of the old fashioned way of waiting for the printed report card and maybe a call or note from a teacher mid quarter if things weren't going well.  It's a a blessing and a curse because nothing seems to be much of a surprise anymore and anticipation is short lived.  For things like our remodeling project we have HGTV where two guys remodel an entire house in an hour.  Ok, a little bit longer but they certainly do a lot of work in a short period of time and I, as a viewer, can see the entire project in 60 minutes, including commercials.

All of these modern conveniences have skewed our expectations on how long it takes to complete something.  We have come to expect and demand instant gratification and are inundated with resources that feed this need.  For someone to say this is going to be a good 6 month project almost seems unacceptable.  But in our case it will likely be that, although those words haven't been specifically spoken.  It is a ton of work to completely gut and restructure two major rooms in our house.

Another factor that is trying our patience is that we have moved everything from our bathroom and closet into our bedroom.  Attempting some sort of organization by using clear plastic crates and a hanging rack we purchased from a clothing store that was going out of business, our room is chaos at best.  I want to go work out, ok where did I put that drawer with my workout clothes?  I need to dress for a work meeting, let me check out the clothing rack and crawl underneath to fetch some shoes - hopefully two that match.

When we lived in Boston Jim and I often laughed as we walked through a store called Ann and Hope.  It was  a unique store that had everything from toothbrushes to boogie boards - and it was not uncommon at all to see the two placed right next to each other on the shelf.  There seemed to be no organization to the store whatsoever.  It seemed to have everything, but good luck finding it. That is now our room - the Midwest version of that goofy store right in our home.  I need a Q-tip, oh they are right next to my jewelry, socks and some math flashcards.

On a positive note, when you haul everything out of a space you find things you thought were lost forever, and can take conscious note of things you can clearly do without.  (See previous post re: purging).

So I will continue to make a conscious effort to try and remain patient with this project, dreaming about how fabulous it will be once complete.  It's worth the wait, it's worth making sure it's done right and that means there's nothing instant about it.

Gotta run, my instant oatmeal is ready.

Ran across an old friend

Peter Hedges Interview  (link)


Maybe it was the Oscars last weekend or maybe my mind just wandered away from my daily routine one day this week, but the other night I looked up Peter Hedges on Twitter and ran across this interview.  It's long so don't feel obligated to watch all of it.  But if you have the time it's a great interview with a super talented guy.  An all around feel good that will likely make you chuckle a bit like I did.

I am fortunate that for 5 weeks during the summer of 1988 Peter was my instructor at The National High School Institute at Northwestern.  It was an incredible summer and amazing experience all around, but the fact that I got to study under this guy who would go on to do incredible work still kind of amazes me.

I have a horrible memory so unfortunately I don't remember all of the details of each day but I know that the class he taught and the show I was lucky enough to be a part of was something special.  When I watched this interview it was like we were sitting in our morning acting class chatting it up with Peter.  He was and still is normal, and real, and creative, and hilarious and talented.  He went on to write and publish books, write screenplays and direct films.  And since he's originally from Iowa I feel even more of a connection to him.

When he published his first book, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, my mom sent me the big article from The Des Moines Register about the book and Peter (local guy doing well).  I have tried to follow his career and read his books and see his films when I can.  I have always wondered if I showed up at a book signing or film premier (because I go to a lot of those) would he recognize me?  If I introduced myself as Syd Killion from Red Oak, Iowa - NHSI Cherub Class of 1988 would he remember me?  I'd like to think so but even if he didn't he would make me feel like he did in a very Midwest way.  Some people are just like that I think.

I hope he continues to do great things and maybe someday I'll have the chance to reintroduce myself and congratulate him on his success and thank him for the fun summer in 1988.  Until then I will enjoy pieces like this and try to see things, people and situations a little more like the characters and stories Peter creates and shares with us.

A Igloo

Friday afternoon the boys came rushing home from school with one thing on their minds - get out in that snow, the weekend is here!  We had a few inches on the ground, the wet kind, great for packing.  As I glanced out my office window I saw Brandon starting to create an outline on the ground.  He used the red snowball maker he'd received for Christmas last year and began creating perfectly round snowballs with it.  I heard his little voice call up to my office.  "Mom, I'm building a igloo."  The perfect vision of a little boy with big plans.  One you want to freeze forever (no pun intended).  

As the afternoon went on he made more snow balls and started piling them up.  The igloo took on a long oval shape and spanned about 5 feet.  When it was time to come in for the day he asked if he could work on it again tomorrow.  "Sure buddy, you can build more and I will try to help."  

After our Saturday morning routine he dressed in his full snow garb and headed out to the yard once again.  I joined him after awhile and found he had created a huge pile of snowballs.  (note to self, if I'm in the igloo building business I need some snow pants)

He had figured out if he made a bunch of them he could spend more time building.  So we worked for about an hour.  He was making more snowballs and I was placing them around structure.  At one point he took his sled to an area of fresh snow, filled it with snowballs and returned to our building site.  Our igloo was starting to take on quite a nice shape.  After a short break for lunch he was back at it again.  I joined him for about another hour and when we stepped back to admire our work we were up to about 7 rows of snowballs.  We took a few pictures and talked about spending some more time working on it Sunday.  

Sunday came and so did the bright sunshine and rising temperatures.  The snow was still around but when I checked the forecast I had a feeling our building might not make it to sunset.  Before our house was very active Brandon had his snow clothes back on and trudged out to the backyard.  Jim had to leave fairly early for a flight but went out to help his little buddy a bit.  He introduced him to the concept of the spray bottle.  Wetting down the snowballs in the hope of creating a more solid structure. After Jim came back in house Brandon kept at it.  Adding a few snowballs and wetting them down with his re purposed Windex bottle.  

As the day went on the walls started falling in certain areas and Brandon grew frustrated that his igloo kept breaking.  I did my best to patch the walls but the beautiful sunny day wasn't working in our favor.  I explained that we would make it as strong as we could and then we needed to leave it alone for awhile and just see how much remained after the day.  I said we have a good base and the next time it snows we can build it up again.  

Before the sun set we looked out and a lot of our hard work had melted away.  You could still see the outline and a few of the snowballs were in tact creating the oval shape - but our 7 layers were now more like 1.  When he went to bed last night Brandon got teary when he talked about how hard we had worked and that it all just melted away.  He said, "Mom, even when my tummy was grumbling I wanted to keep going because we were having so much fun building.  And now, it's all going to be gone."  

What a hard lesson, especially because I was a little sad too.  I told him I took a bunch of pictures and when it snows again we can go back out and build it back up.  That's the trouble with snow, I guess.  It's not real permanent.  

I just checked the forecast.  80% chance of snow starting tomorrow afternoon... 

mass production process

 from the inside

aerial shot

cold but happy

helpful hands

melting memories